For a Fruitful Marriage This Year
Do you feel like you and your spouse aren’t on the same page? Do you wish you had weekly questions to ask your spouse so you can be on the same page? This is a practice that Ryan and I put to action about 8 years ago, and it has truly transformed our connection and how we communicate on a weekly basis.
If you are just starting out in your marriage, this is the best time to begin a weekly, consistent rhythm of communication. However, if you’ve been married for some time and don’t have a time where you come together as a couple and discuss life, it’s ok! Now is a great time to start. Ryan and I didn’t start asking each other these weekly questions until we had been married for 12 years, and it had (and still has) a lasting impact on our marriage.
5 Weekly Questions to Ask Your Spouse for a Fruitful Marriage This Year
- What do we have scheduled individually and as a couple/family in the week ahead?
- What was one thing that was hard/challenged you last week?
- What was one thing that you enjoyed last week?
- What is one thing I can do to help you this week?
- How can I pray for you and encourage you this week?
What do we have scheduled individually and as a couple/family in the week ahead?
This is a simple, but effective question to ask your spouse every single week.
It might seem silly, but it helps with so many potential scheduling headaches. Whether you have kids or not (but especially if you have kids that are involved outside of the home), knowing the schedule ahead is so important for everyone. Take time each week to get out your calendars and compare. Make sure everyone knows, to the best of your ability, what time you will be home, who is going where, and when. Ryan and I use the Cozi Family Organizer App to keep our schedules and even grocery list synched.
One question we get about this question is “Does my spouse always need to know everything about my schedule?” My answer is simple: If there is a part of your life that you don’t want your spouse to know about, then there is a much bigger problem than just scheduling. I don’t necessarily think you need to put every errand you are running in your calendar, but I also think accountability from your spouse is a good thing. For example, Ryan puts all of his meetings individually on our calendar. This isn’t so that I can know his every move. Rather, it’s so that I know when it’s a good time to call or when I need to send a text. It also gives me a good idea when he will be home in the evening.
What Was One Thing That Challenged You Last Week?
This is a great weekly question to ask your spouse for emotional intimacy.
It gives you the space to share something you might not otherwise get to share. For us, I had no problem sharing something that was difficult. It was more in my nature to do so. However, Ryan wasn’t as comfortable sharing or didn’t think about sharing these things with me. Since asking these weekly questions and creating a safe space to talk, he has opened up more and allowed me to share in his burdens. Being vulnerable with your spouse is great for connection and emotional intimacy. It lets your spouse know that your support and love are there.
What Was One Thing You Enjoyed Last Week?
Similar to the last question, this weekly question is good to ask your spouse
because it gives you the space to share what lights you up. I love this question because it gives me insight to who Ryan is. We are all constantly changing. Our likes, preferences, and desires change right along with us. This question allows us to keep up with change that could be happening in our spouse’s life. It helps us get to know each other better, even after years of being married.
What Is One Thing I Can Do to Help You This Week?
I know how difficult it can be to ask for help. I am the person that will take 5 trips to the car to haul in groceries even though there are 3 capable candidates standing right inside. But just because it’s difficult to ask for help doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. This weekly question gives us the space to not only ask for help, but also the space to serve our spouse. Maybe an errand needs to be run, a phone call made, or a project completed.
How Can I Pray for and Encourage You This Week?
This weekly question is so important for spiritual intimacy.
Once your spouse has shared a challenge or difficulty and what lies in the week ahead, asking for prayer might come easy. However, this part might be a little more difficult if this is not a regular practice in your marriage. That’s ok. If there are no prayer requests mentioned, you can pray about the specific challenge that was a part of your earlier discussion. We also strongly encourage praying together at this time. Again, this can be challenging if you don’t already do this as a couple. If you’re stuck, simply thank God for your time together and for a spouse that is willing to invest time in your marriage, and then come to Him with your specific prayer requests.
I hope these 5 weekly questions to ask your spouse helps guide you in having a consistent rhythm of communication in your marriage. Being on the same page as your spouse when it comes to your daily life will reap so many benefits in your marriage!
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