When is the last time you prayed for kindness? Have you ever prayed that the Holy Spirit would give you the power to be kind? No judgment here if your answer is “no”. Up until a few months ago, I would’ve been in that same camp. Sure I prayed for joy, peace (whoa, have I been praying for peace, right?) patience (every day with kids), and even self control (again, the kids). These are in my prayers quite frequently. But kindness? Why would I need to pray for that? I’m a pretty kind person in general, so kindness comes pretty easy to me. I’ll stick with the others that seem a little more profound to me. BUT God wanted to teach me something about kindness.
Enter Audra. Audra is a podcaster and fellow pastors wife I met on Instagram in the last year or so. She has such a heart for the Lord, and she has a great podcast intended to give faithful, God-centered instruction to moms in bite size, on-the-go pieces. One day in May of this year, I had prayed the Lord would reveal anything in my life that I wasn’t allowing Him to lead. I offered up my social media and even this blog. I laid it all out there with the intent to give up anything He asked me to. Then I got a message from Audra. That day. OK, God, I’m listening. The message read: “You were on my heart this morning because I am having friends join me this summer to share…The theme is fruits of the Spirit…and you came to my heart for kindness.” Mic drop.
Not only did God want me to know that He was allowing to use my social media for Him, now He wanted to teach me something about kindness, and I want to take the time to share that with you.
You can listen to the podcast here.
You can learn more about the 5 Minute Mom Podcast here
Kindness Requires Humility
The first thing God taught me regarding kindness was humility. And this was a big one. You see, I thought when Audra reached out to me that she was doing it because I was kind. But that was far from the truth. She actually reached out to me because she saw the power of the Holy Spirit working it’s kindness through me. The truth is, I’m not kind. Now don’t get me wrong: I’m a nice person. I am usually pleasant to be around, but I’m not naturally kind. Not really. I’d much prefer my comfort over being kind because kindness causes disruption and discomfort.
This podcast challenged me to look to God for kindness, not to rely on my own abilities to be kind. Because when push comes to shove, it’s His strength that I need to be kind to my children, my spouse and those I come in contact with on a daily basis.
Kindness Is Sacrificial
Kindness, out of an overflow of the heart, seems free. It requires no monetary cost. But I believe if we’re talking about the kindness the Apostle Paul referred to in the fruits of the Spirit, then we are talking about sacrificial kindness. One that costs us something. Being kind to someone who is kind seems pretty easy. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. If you bring me cookies for my birthday, I’ll bake you a cake for yours. You compliment my hair, I’ll compliment your shoes. If you smile at me, I’ll smile back. No sacrifice needed, right?
But I believe the sacrificial kindness is that which we show when someone isn’t kind to us. Smiling at someone who is scowling. Showing affection when there is no guarantee it will be reciprocated. Letting someone merge in front of you even though they waited until the last possible second to do so. It isn’t easy. What about in our homes? It isn’t easy to be kind to a spouse who may not accept or return our kindness or to children who are constantly demanding and incessantly whining or to a stranger who is soliciting even when the sign on the window clearly states you aren’t interested. YET sacrificial kindness is what is required of those who love Christ.
Being Kind Is Intentional
When I think about praying for the fruits of the spirit, I generally gravitate towards love, joy, peace, patience, or self control (or all 5!) Before this, it was rare that I actually prayed for kindness because I didn’t see it as something I needed strength or power to do. But if the kindness I need to show is sacrificial, as stated before, then I need to be proactive in asking for it. Because much like self control or peace, it is extremely difficult to get a handle on in the middle of the situation where it’s needed. So now, in my morning quiet time, I intentionally ask for kindness in the times I might need it during the day when those I encounter might not deserve it. And as you might have guessed, it makes all the difference.
Showing Kindness is Teachable
How do we learn most things? By being taught and/or shown. Chances are the kindness we show others directly relates to what we have observed and been taught. We are kind the way our parents or guardians showed us to be. We have the greatest opportunity to model this to those around us, those who we have the most influence on. Our families and friends. By showing them undeserved kindness and allowing them to watch us treat others out of that same kindness, we can pave the way for that same occurrence in their lives. But the best thing we can do for them is show them the greatest model of kindness to us, through the works and ministry of Jesus Christ.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23
So the next time you are thinking that you are simply a “kind” person, remember there is nothing simple about it. God created you to be kind, but kindness takes humility, sacrifice, intention, and the example of Jesus Christ.
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I had to put a sticky note on my computer once to remind myself to “be nice to Kimberly” – she was not in the mood for my particular sense of humor that day! When I realize kindness has left the building, it’s because the Holy Spirit will show me how rudeness, insensitivity, or just plain meanness has shown up in my speech, my tone, or my attitude. Sadly, most of the time I don’t even realize I am being unkind.